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Tag Archives: respect

One Day She Will Tell You That She Has Had Enough

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So remember when I said living with an addict is hard?
Well, living with abuse is impossible.

Damon went off the deep end last night, I’m not sure what caused it exactly, and he punched me twice in the face.
I was laying in bed, because it’s that time of the month, and I was in pain….he came in and started taking clothes off the shelf, so I asked him where he was going. He said, ‘Downtown.’ I asked if I could come, and he said No….he started talking randomly about going down town and doing a social experiment to see how women react to asshole guys or something, he wasn’t making much sense, so I said ‘Fine whatever, you go downtown and have fun, I’ll just lay here.’
He left, saying ‘My final experiment is done’ or something to that effect…

Then he came back in, music blasting from the cpu room, and just sat there on the bed, not doing or saying anything.
I told him I was in pain and I just want quiet and could he please have some respect for me?
He threw back ‘So I cook and clean and do everything for you and blah blah blah and you want respect?’
Then he left again.

Then he came back and said he was going to look stuff up online about breast cancer and that I’m ungrateful and bitchy and self centered and more blah blah blah, then he called me a cunt, and I got up and went onto the porch to get away from him.
I heard the door close, and I thought I heard him lock me out, so I went back inside, and said ‘I know I didn’t hear the lock on that door, right?’

And then he came at me. Put his hand around my neck and told me to get out of his house. I shoved him away three times and told him it wasn’t his house, and that I wasn’t going anywhere.

He went to the kitchen, and I went to the other side of the room, where Donna’s bedroom door is…I was fucking terrified he was going to pull a knife on me, but he just came at me to punch me.
I shoved him into the bathroom door, and he came at me and punched me in the face.
I shoved him again, into a hamper and shelving unit thingy….then his mom came out of the room and separated us, he was going to hit me again.

I went into Donna’s room to get away from him, and he started screaming about how all women are shit and he’s going to go disappear and that I was supposed to save him and I was his last hope and that his mother caused him to be this way and that having Auspergers is so hard, and how he doesn’t do anything but cook and feed us and we’re ungrateful and I’m a parasite and for Donna to give her money to terrorists when she dies and just….crazy, insane shit.

Totally off the wall shit.
Then he went into the bedroom and started smashing pictures and stuff, I haven’t seen the bedroom since I left it last night, so I have no idea what’s broken and what’s not.

My stuff is also in there but I’m avoiding that room for now….I packed my duffel a few weeks ago, and was ready to leave then, but I didn’t….I should have listened to myself, but I thought if he stopped drinking he’d get better.

I thought I smelled alcohol on his breath last night but I can’t be 100% positive.

This is a total disaster, but hey….at least if I can raise the money I can see my momma for Christmas….
I’ve been asking my friends on Facebook to help me, the cheapest flight right now is on the tenth, and it costs about $1078.00
After the tenth the cost goes up and over $1200.
I don’t feel safe here at all, but I need the internet access, and I don’t have money to go anywhere else. 

Once again, if you feel like you can help, now more than ever I really need help.
Every dollar counts, and I would seriously appreciate it.
For the Lady who wanted the picture of the rose for donating, I’ll have to draw/paint/photo-print one for you myself.
I’m not as talented as he is, I’m sorry….but I will do my darn best for you.

Donations can be made here:
Please Donate

Or you can interac transfer me an immediate donation at my email address:
jsscnrd@gmail.com

Just let me know what the question and answer is for the security stuff.

I hope I can get home soon. I miss my mom and I don’t like feeling so fucking unsafe.

Anyone dealing with abuse:
Don’t.
It’s not worth it. 
Never.
And you NEVER deserve to get hit.
EVER.
I don’t care if you’re the biggest asshole on earth, you don’t deserve to be hit or choked or belittled.

On the plus side, my last two relationships have taught me that I sure can take a fucking punch in the face….when I get back to Canada, I’m probably going to join MMA.

Ciao for now.

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Posted by on December 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Reading is cheap – Writing saves – And ‘rithmetic is for frugal farts

I suppose in this post, I should tell you more about me, and how I ended up living in the Philippines.

Like I mentioned in my first post, I was living in Canada… and I have to say, for a country that boasts a reputation for being free, tolerant, and full of opportunity… my quality of life was terrible.
Job turnover is a nightmare, minimum wage is the standard rate of pay for most work, excruciating rent prices and utility costs are the norm, food is low in quality and high in cost, the people are hypocritical and attracted to drama, and the overall morale of the entire country, while presented to the globe as high, realistically, is lower than I’ve ever seen it before.

I had been from one end of the country to another last summer, in a last-bid attempt to regain control over my reality.
I had always wanted to hitch hike, so I packed my things up, and set out for the west coast of Canada.
While the trip was definitely fun, showing me lots of new things and giving me the sense of adventure and independence I had craved for a long time, it was slow-going, exhausting and sometimes terrifying, as well as downright freezing at night time.

Eventually though, I ended up in Alberta. I worked there for a while, until it became the same old story… a mind full of shambles, and a life full of chaos. I went back on disability, and tried again to pull my life together with the wonderfully generous help and shelter of two awesome chicks I met through mutual friends. 

Throughout all of this, there was a man whom I had met online, also through mutual friends, that I occasionally spoke to, over a period of two years.
His name is Damon Flint, and he was (( and still is )) the damn coolest guy I had ever heard about in my life.
Everyone’s stories about him were outrageous, larger than life, and hilariously genuine. 
Whenever I spoke to him, my life would brighten, and for those moments, I felt like I could take on the world in my own ass-kicking, brassy kind of way. 
While in NS and Alberta, we started speaking much more regularly, and it got to the point where we would Skype every single day… Both of our sleep schedules became so erratic it was silly.

While living with those two awesome Ladies, Damon and I decided we wanted to be together enough to make it a reality, and so I worked on getting a passport. It took about a month, but after it arrived, he and his mother booked the plane ticket immediately, and a day later, I was on my way.

It has been a sensational journey, and I am very lucky to have found a man so caring and loving as he is. 
I appreciate every day that not only are we together, but we get to spend the rest of our days in paradise. 

And now you know a bit more about me!

 

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Posted by on September 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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