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She Wanted To Talk Like She Was Born Here – Like She Never Came From Anywhere Else

Well oh wello!

So much on my mind, dunno where to begin.
It’s kinda terrible that I update the resort’s blog every day but then don’t update my own personal one much….I guess it’s a bit more easy to bang out professionally-written blogs for a targeted audience than to solemnly spill my guts to strangers….ironically…

I’ve been really having fun here…it’s been an amazing fit, and I’m still amazed I actually get paid to do SEO and social media marketing for a freakin’ beach resort.

Obviously it’s more than that, I do the office work, file papers, do the payroll, make sure things are running smoothly and properly….but a very large chunk of my work is internet-based….and anyone who knows me knows I’m bloody amazing at internet marketing.

Anywhoo…another awesome part is my coworkers, I love everyone like family…I get teased a lot for being white and ‘oh so beautiful’ and skinny and this and that but I don’t mind.

Most of the workers also live on-site, except for on holidays and stuff because a lot of them live far away.
We all eat dinner together in the worker’s kitchen and its usually Dried Fish, Tocino, Malunggay soup or Tinola, Rice, and water…we sit and chat about the day or whatever, though I don’t really understand much at all since it’s mostly in Cebuano, but every once in a while someone will translate for me….usually JaiJai, my new ‘sister’….but sometimes Ramel, our bartender dude….who can make a margarita that even Jesus himself would kill someone for.

The ‘Chef of the workers’ is named Doming and hot damn that guy can cook a mean soup! haha

In the mornings I usually get an omelet or chicken fingers and a salad, and Rod, our Resort chef usually cooks it and oh my freaking god the omelets are delicious.
So safe to say, the eatin’s good here.

Sometimes we all go out to the market area to eat instead, and we get rice, barbecue, tocino, lumpia and stuff…I finally tried longganisa, which is a kind of chorizo sausage thats SO SUPER TASTY!!!
Damon told me it was gross, so I was always nervous about it, but pffsshht, its super good.

The pink hot dogs too, they taste just like regular old hot dogs as far as I can tell…though when I first got here I remember trying one that was sweet and icky…..but the ones at the market are pretty typical tasting…maybe my tastebuds just forget what western food tastes like at this point.

I still for the life of me can’t figure out why some of these meats are pink though….I must solve this mystery sometime.
So far I’ve tried Pandesal, which I love…Adobo, which is obviously amazing, BBQ, which I’m addicted to, Bam-E, pictured below, Banana Heart made into some kinda slaw stuff which was interesting but strange, Tinola with pechay, onion, sayote, chilies, okra, etc….monggo soup which surprised me because monggos are beans…first bean I actually like….salads with daikon radish, ampalaya which was both icky and delicious….it’s very bitter, but the coating stuff on it is awesome…..Puso, which is just plain ‘ol rice, Siomai which is oh-so-frigging-good, but is technically a Chinese food….

Aaaaaand I actually kinda tried Balut…..I cracked open the egg, sipped the juice, ate a few wet feathers…..and everything was fine until I cracked open the entire egg and saw the baby chicken…….I tried some of the yolk, which tasted pretty much just like a boiled egg….but I couldn’t steel my nerves enough to bite into the baby.

I like going to market for supper….everyone picks what they want from the food stall/table, sits down at a table off to the side, cleans their fingers with a bucket of water, then plates of rice are brought to the table on pink plates wrapped in plastic bags…I assume for easier clean-up…pretty damn smart if you ask me….then the little bowls of calamansi and chilies and soy sauce show up…..then you wait for the delicious, juicy meeeaaatzzz….

We all sit and talk and goof off, joke around and it’s really laid back and fun.
The best part about filipino food in my humble little opinion is eating with your fingers!!!
Everyone eats with the fingers, and it’s not considered rude or gross….weirdly enough though, what is considered icky is licking your fingers afterwards….I keep trying to catch myself and stop doing it, but its hard….the food is so good I want every little taste.

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Bam-E….so freaking tasty.

After supper, literally every freakin’ night everyone drinks either Red Horse, Tequila or the evil, disgusting Tanduay.
I never drink the Tanduay…the smell still makes me absolutely want to throw up due to my experiences in Valencia….
But sometimes I have a few glasses of beer or tequila.

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Lately though, I’ve had a constant sore throat and I think I’m running a bit of a fever, so I haven’t been drinking or smoking so I can rebuild my system.

It could be caused by a few things…The treehouse I’m living in has birds in the roof and cats in the floorboards….so all the dust and …gross poo & fur residues….may be irritating my immune system….but I’m not allergic to anything, so I don’t know why it would bother me to the point of sickness….

It could also be the fact that I’m working 11-12 hours a day and in three weeks have had zero days off….even though it’s simple office work and tours and stuff….it’s still work, and my brain never shuts off or has time to fully rest.
I don’t think that’s the issue though, because I function at my peak when I’m overbusy and frantically panicky…hahah

It could also just be the change in the environment and the weather….it’s been hotter, and this area is right beside the ocean, while Valencia was up in the mountains.

Whatever I guess.

I still miss having Damon in my life…he’s an amazingly creative, interesting, smart person at his best, but honestly….life is better when I’m not being called a bunch of terrible names and being made to feel worthless and unbearably stressed out every day….Just after I got here, I was talking to him and he told me he had a heart attack and he was going to kill himself and stuff….that made the stress and the panic and the sense of irrational responsibility and guilt come pounding back into my chest and I felt sick because I know I can’t trust what he says…who knows if it’s the truth?

Here I feel productive, happy and confident in my worth….I feel part of a whole here…it’s not exactly the best-greased machine on the block, but the resort is only three months old…you can’t expect everything to be going perfectly so early on in the game….we’re all learning together, and that’s a really awesome feeling.

And even if he was killing himself, what the fuck am I going to do about it from all the way over here?? ((Excuse mon francais))
He expects me to drop everything and run to him with no money & no transportation with no guarantees that things are ok or sane or honest….exactly what got me to the Philippines in the fucking first place…..

A Pure, Reckless Loving & Careless, Devoted Trust in something that turned out to be a well-financed stage play for a fool.
Ugh, When I think about it, I hate myself and I hate the fact that I was lied to.

But It got me here, and now I’m ok…..I’m always ok, really….
I’m a fighter, a True Warrior…a Wallace, a survivor….and I can spin gold from pig shit.
Well.
Until Next Time.

Come visit the Resort’s Bloggity!
I have like…no followers on it, even though quite a few read it…I would really appreciate some follows over there!!

www.whitechocolatehillsresort.wordpress.com

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Oh, P.S….I also have been researching tattoo culture in the Philippines, and found out that they used to tattoo warriors with Orange or Calamansi thorns.

So what did I do?

Found a thorn and gave myself a new tattoo, of course!

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40 is the numerical representation of Enki/Ea, and also is representative of Capricorn.
In numerology, four is ruled by Saturn, which is my ruling planet, and of course, zero is one of the most powerful connections to the Otherside.

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Posted by on April 22, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A Product, But Not A Prisoner Of

Ok so I have a little time to myself now to write out a bigger bloggity….

So you knew I think that I stayed for a while at the cop station….Here are a few pictures of my time there:

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That is a few pictures of my little nippa hut….I actually didn’t mind it so much when I had 2 pillows to lay my bones on.
I learned how to play Sangka in the shelter, and so here is a picture of my home made sangka board:

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And here is the kitty that lives at the copshop that kept me company and became my best friend….her name is Mimi:

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Anyways, after I left there, I stayed with a wonderful woman who owns a group that offers free legal help to women and children dealing with abuse. Her group really does a lot of great things, and helps a lot of people….while I was there, they had a bike ride across three towns, but I couldn’t go because she had too many people in her car.
She has a fish pond, and here are a few cool shots from there:

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After I stayed at this house, I really hustled my butt off looking for a job…I met a few people in Valencia that introduced me to a few others, and one of the introductions was to the owners of White Chocolate Hills resort in Zamboangita….They liked me, and so they hired me!

The terrible part was that I had accepted a job with an older lady in Dumaguete, under the impression that I would be her companion, and do errands, some cooking, and bending and reaching for things that she needed….unfortunately, the job turned out to be more of a live-in maid situation, and also required me to give medical care if needed, which included needles.

Now, I don’t care if they’re mini-diabetes needles that you don’t even see….I DON’T FREAKIN DO NEEDLES.
PERIOD.
ZIPPO.

And the offer for the resort had exactly the same perks, room and board and meals….but also was offering double the salary.
I had to think ahead, and worry about my financial future. I took the job with the resort and I had to politely tell the Lady that I couldn’t work for her….it was a bit of an uncomfortable talk, but things are ok now, she’s fine…..

Her friend, a local writer for a local newspaper, however…was downright rude and insulting, telling me I had made a mistake, chose wrongly, ‘no wonder you’ve had so many jobs in your life’ and that I only look at the short term, not the long-run.

Excuse You?
I didn’t realize you knew me like that!
Furthermore, it is my very, very humble opinion that working for a company that provides health and security benefits, an actual contract, and whom do work with local charities and conservation groups, and are researching local marine preservation and aquaponics systems is looking further into the future than you can do, Buster.

Dude was WAY off base with his assumptions and judgements….but then again….most people who judge me are pretty darn off base.
I’m much more hidden to people than they realize.

Oh well.
I am having a great time here, and I’ve only been here two days.
I leave you with flowers that remind me of birds.

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Posted by on April 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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The Welcoming Hand of The Interested Stranger

Sorry, no pictures on this bloggity update unfortunately…nothing to give a relief for your eyeballs at all.

A lot has been happening, been seeing a lot of new things, and so life goes on, I guess.

Stuff went bad again….I dont know where I left off, but I went back to the house for a week, Damon remained sober and full of energy and piss and vinegar for one full week….then the very morning his mother left for her job he was back to drunk and I said fuck it for the last time.

The embassy has come through, just yesterday they told me the loan fiiinnnaaalllyyy got approved,  but in the last few weeks, I’ve met two people who know quite a few people around town, and they’ve been spreading the word of maybe me getting a job…..needless to say, the embassy option will have to wait at this point, because I would rather be poor, full of good food, and happy, paying taxes to the Philippine government than poor and depressed and suicidal, inhaling black mold spores and eating out of garbage cans in Canada, repaying a criminal government that I hate.

I’ve gone down to Zamboangita, excuse me if the spelling is wrong, met a German man who owns the White Chocolate Hills beach resort, as well as two other resort owners that have been very kind, and seemed decently interested in possibly having a native speaker of English to help out around their properties.
They said they would be in touch.
Then, I went and met with a Korean man who runs an English school that I may be able to assist at, and on Monday I will be meeting with someone from one of the call centers around town to see if they’d be interested in hiring me.

The Lady I met and who’s taken me to meet people knows the woman who basically brought all the call centers into Dumaguete, so undoubtedly, she will know of someone to be interested if there is a prospect.

So I’ve been rushing my little bottom off to and fro, socializing and meeting with people, as well as keeping the word out that I want a job and I want to stay for good.

I keep thinking about how much Damon would hate me and embarass me and look down upon me now…… every time I meet someone I can hear him in my head saying ‘Oh, this person is stupid, moronic, loser, they don’t know anything, god how boring, blah blah….I’ve been trying to not let it get me down….logically, I know his view of other people ((as well as this whole country)) is depressing and off-base from reality…which is so ironic, when he tells me he loves the Philippines, but then says all Philippine food is disgusting, over salted and full of MSG…….When I know from direct experience, eating with the cops, eating with Ma’am Hoffmann, etc that rice and vegetables, or pechay and malunngay soup and jackfruit and ya know…..all the other foods I’ve tasted aren’t bloody disgusting or salty in the darn least…..I can’t say much about the salted fish…of course they’re salty…but SO DELICIOIUUUUSUSUS…I was scared to try them for the longest time, but the other day, I gave in and OHMYGOD…..so crunchy….so saaallltttyyyyy….so goooooooood….
And I’m addicted to the BBQ pork chunks down the street from the copstation…..I cannot get enough of them.

Anyway just a small update, can’t stay online for too long as it isn’t my computer, as usual……I will try to write again soon.
Damon also tried to make me feel bad for writing this blog…told me it’s practically a form of mental masturbation and that I am not allowed to air my personal life on the internet…….but honestly, excuse my language, Fuck That, I don’t censor myself, I can write about what I want, and if he didn’t want people to know the bad stuff, he shouldn’t have been, frankly, an asshole.

I will continue to write, because this blog actually has a purpose, once I have a solid place to write updates, and once I get more and more immersed in the Philippine culture and lifestyle, I want a space to be able to share my experiences, hopes, dreams, and reality of life as a foreigner in the Philippines.

I hope you will all continue to join me.

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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