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White Civilized Man – The Most Ferocious Animal on The Face of The Earth

Today I’m going to bitch about foreigners.
As some of you know, I am really not a fan of foreign people here in the Philippines.
The ones that visit are normally sex tourists…. I’ll tell you a secret…on my blog insights page, many of the key search words people use to find my blog are geared towards sex tourism.

It’s disgusting.

The other ones, the ones that live here, take a Filipina as a wife, and think they’re all high and mighty because they’re accepting of the Filipino culture…..those people…….are total….. freaking……. bullshit.

They’re the same ones who say

‘Sure, I love my Filipina Wife….but she’s as dumb as a bag of bricks’
‘I love the Filipino culture, but boy are they sure lazy! Haw-haw-haw..’
‘I love the Philippines, but gee I wish they knew how to cook real food…’
‘Shopping is so cheap here, but oh my god, the lines are slow/the customer service is shitty/they rip you off for stuff…’
‘I love living here in this nice, convenient beautiful part of town, but I’m going to poison the neighbor’s dog/shoot their roosters’
‘It’s so great to drive with no license or registration, but gosh I hate the traffic’
‘Wow I had such a large argument with a local while buying my illegal DvDs…Filipinos should be ashamed of their behavior’

And on.
And on.
And on.

I could quote foreign stupidity for days, yet they say the Philippines is the stupidest group of people they’ve ever dealt with.

Dear White Ugly Fat Foreign Dudes: How about you STFU, reverse your shitty attitude, re-join reality, and realize YOU’RE the problem.

This country is full of people that know at LEAST two languages, Who work for shitty pay to serve your ass, Who have ONE day off a week if they’re lucky, and who have dealt with foreigners coming to their country for CENTURIES….don’t think every little thing is going to change simply because you want it to be more comfortable & familiar….

God Knows the west has already polluted the Philippine culture enough.

The women have lost their sense of Babaylan, and pride in their natural looks, and have become obsessed with being white, using harmful creams, soaps and lotions to bleach their skin.

The entire nation has a problem with voicing their depression, and instead choose to smile through the worst days rather than do the work to properly heal their minds and hearts.

They have experienced a loss of cultural identity & are approaching Historical Extinction…oral tradition and knowledge of pre-colonial history is in danger of being lost in favor of MTV, telenovellas, Pacquiao and Bruno Fucking Mars.
((No offense Mr. M, but srsly. Do something productive.))

I don’t believe ALL white people are the problem, just as I don’t believe ALL Filipinos are nice, of course…
But the great majority needs to shape up or ship out.

Also, Mr. Dumbass White Guy who just complained for two hours about how stupid Filipinos are, over beers in a bar with your new foreign best buddy you just met……do you really think you’re going to receive impeccable, perfect, or hell, even polite service from your waiter or waitress after that?

Every time you vocalize the fact that someone is lazy or stupid or annoying or unskilled or whaaatever, keep in mind you might just be getting what you expect because you’re an asshole, and not because what you’re saying is true.

Contrary to how you act, Filipinos actually have EARS and can not only hear your stupid blabbering, but they also understand it.
They also talk about you to others.
In a language you don’t understand because you don’t take the time to learn.
Because as much as you love the country….if you don’t love the culture, you’re just another invader on their turf….sitting pretty on their land, taking advantage of their hospitality, and doing nothing productive.

‘Oh but I sent so-and-so to school and paid this guys medical bills and bought groceries for that girl I had sex with yesterday!’

Yeah, thanks for the free cash, Joe!
Just because we take your money and let you pay for things doesn’t mean we like you or we think you’re helping….you’re just being a means to an end.

Harsh, rude, cruel……But oh-so-true.
If you really want to make a difference…set up a school or library and teach people….feed people by opening up a free farm where people can learn to garden….spay and neuter all the stray animals you see walking around everywhere….go out and pick up garbage from the land…..buying shit from stores and paying people’s bills is well and good, but you’re just perpetuating a reliance on foreign aid that has existed for centuries….you’re contributing to a damaging cycle of violence and oppression.

Anyways. I’m done for now.

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Posted by on May 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Being Alone Felt Good… But Never Felt Right

Aaah, love.
I’m still struggling with my emotions, and they suck.
Alcohol is an evil, wasteful thing….and it took away the greatest love of my life.

I keep on telling myself, keep moving forward, keep on going, press on, make yourself a life and don’t lay down to die.
It’s hard.

My interview today went well, I have to wait for the final interview, which will hopefully be tomorrow.
I also got a call back from the Korean school for English, and they want me to meet with them to talk about salary and starting dates…which is excellent….but now I have to think about a few different things.

Number one, Salary…which job pays more.
As a foreigner, I have to renew my visa every few months, which is about 4k pesos a pop….then, I need to think about rent costs, and food….I can feed myself for a month on 2k pesos.
Then I have to think about transportation….which would be less of an issue if I took a boarding room in the downtown core….I don’t mind walking.
Also, every three years, I have to leave the country and come back, so I need a job that will allow me to save up enough to buy a plane ticket somewhere.

Number two concern is Job Security.
I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I will need a job that will be around for a long time, and won’t just hire me for a season, or will run the risk of letting me go when it gets slow.

I really don’t care about socializing or going out or doing things around town….I know I won’t be able to afford it for a really long time… I do want to buy a laptop or build a desktop computer, so that I can maybe start an online business of some sort, continue to keep this blogitty updated, and also to keep up with my photography.

Anyway.
Yesterday, I went out with Ma’am Joanne, another woman I know here, to a place that makes cheese and stuff from goats….It was pretty awesome, I got to see a bit of cheese making, the removal of the whey and putting it into molds.
The owner is German, and he had a unique cheese press that he had a friend weld together for him that was very efficient and very interesting.

I took his business card, and so next time I write an update, I will include directions and the name of the place, which I can’t remember currently.

I also forgot to mention the other day Ma’am Cecilia and I met up with a local photographer named Hersley Casero, and he told me all about his work right now…I guess a few years ago, someone stole a photograph of his and claimed it was their own, and the laughing boy in the picture, he told the media, had cancer….which was, and is not true.

A friend of his in California recognized on the news that it was Hersley’s work, and told him about what was going on….the picture had been going viral, and from that point, they decided to create the ‘Ha?’ project.

It’s a collaboration of artists all over the world, and you can find more information right here in the link to their Facebook page.

I guess that’s all I currently have to say….besides the fact that right now I’m eating a very tasty dish of rice noodles, chunks of really sour green thingies called ‘Iba’, green onion, shrimp, some kind of tasty, yellow sauce…’palabok’ sauce, calamansi, egg, and pork rinds.
It is bloody delicious and I wish I could share it with you all….but only a little bit, because its almost too good to share.

So much for Filipino food being ‘gross’ or ‘bland’ or ‘too salty’…….Goes to show what happens when you’re not afraid of a little social exploration….

The last few weeks have been so good for my mind and soul…getting out and about, meeting new people, being friendly and open to meeting the community will get you very far in the Philippines, and I am living proof….I’ve had it both ways.

Social isolation, sticking to your house and doing nothing but grocery shopping and drinking starts to make you a very cynical, cranky, frustrated hermit-creature here….you end up meeting the lazy, creepy, night-time folk.

Also, there’s a large difference between socializing with gross, opportunistic, exploitative foreigners……and getting to meet the well-to-do, outgoing, helpful, adventurous people.

Pfuh.
Anyway, Until next time!

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Live To The Point Of Tears

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Gosh, what a month, what a month.
The above picture is from my FAVORITE comic/graphic quote-book-thing, ‘A Softer World’
Always cheeky, poignant, and reassuring…they used to be in The Coast, which is a free newspaper in Halifax, NS, and I used to cut them out every week. I still have them all tucked away in a box at my moms somewhere.
I found out later you could buy a full-color book version at Strange Adventures comic shoppe, but I found the process of cutting them out and sticking them into an envelope kinda kitsch and wonderful, so.
Yep.

Anywhoo, I guess I have a lot to update you on, so here we go.
I wrote down stuff as it happened to better remember, but it’ll be a bit spotty, my memory has never been great.

On God-knows-what day in Jan, Damon had been drunk for weeks, and I decided enough was enough for me.
I took a Jeepney downtown to Lee Plaza, got a bit of cash out, picked up smokes, and went to Coco Amigos.

I sat there chain smoking and crying, had every intention of sleeping outside, but it was raining and I had forgotten my umbrella. I was half-hoping Damon would show up and take me home but he didn’t. After a while, I was really tired and I just wanted to go home, so I got the last Jeepney back to Valencia and walked back to the house, and slept on the porch.

On the seventh of February, I again packed up and got ray to drive me to Coco’s. I had no money this time, and so I went over to the boardwalk across the street and sat there, smoking.
After a while, I curled up and tried to rest, but kids kept bothering me asking for money and stuff….that’s kinda an annoying part of downtown…..all the kids beg, and I’ve been told that the women sometimes lend their kids out to other homeless/beggar-people so they can have a better haul for the day…..people pity people with kids all around the world, I guess….and they cash in on that fact here.

Anyways, A man and a heavily makeupped Lady stopped eventually and started asking all kinds of questions…I told them my story, told them my visa had been expired since January, etc, and they told me I should go to the Mayor for help in the morning.
After they left, two guys stopped and asked to take my picture.
I was immediately creeped out, wondering why they wanted MY picture, and one guy said he was from Manila for the weekend and so he wanted a picture….My antennas were wiggling furiously, but let them take one..

After they left, the group of kids that had been hanging around told me to call the police because I was going to get taken.
I asked them if they meant kidnapped, and they said yes……so I didn’t know if they knew much English, and I don’t know if that’s what they really meant, but I went to Coco Amigos, and got them to call the police.

They eventually got there, and I told them I was pretty much homeless and my visa was expired….everyone was super nice, and they let me smoke….They took me to the copshop, let me use the computer, gave me hot chocolate….I answered questions and gave all my info and stuff….and then we basically just talked about our two countries, Canada and the Philippines, talked about jobs, food, education, etc until I got tired.

I slept in a bench in a back office, and the next morning it was kinda super rainy.
The day started a bit hectic, they were trying to figure out what to do with me.

We went to see a social worker in Valencia, who gave me P200 for food, but said there was pretty much nothing she could do for me because I had no money or tickets to get home to Canada, and they had no money either.

We went to the Immigration office, and they said I had to update my visa and obtain an exit clearance just to leave, and that they couldn’t help either. I asked about deportation, but since I hadn’t done anything wrong, they said it’d be impossible, and that it takes months anyway.

One of the Female officers bought me lunch at a little cafe and we had a bit of a chat, she told me she’s dating a female judge in Ontario, she showed me pictures, and talked about Canadian money, I pointed out that the toonie and the ten peso looks similar to each other and stuff, it was a really nice break from the stress of the past few days.

After a few hours of head scratching, I was taken to la Casa Esperanza, which is a crisis center for women and children in Dumaguete city. I was told I would be able to stay until Monday, this day being Saturday.

I was shown around, read the rules, and shown to my room, which I shared with a woman and her baby, and a little girl.
It wasn’t really all that different from being at Adsum House, which is a shelter for women in Halifax that I have lived at quite a few times in the past.

My stay was fine, all the girls tried to teach me Tagalog, and I managed to remember a few….I now know shark, water, plate, dog, cat, eyes, and bat…and I have a list of other stuff that I’ve yet to memorize.
I had to beg for coffee and to be able to smoke cigarettes outside out of sight, which had me a bit stressed out for a few days, but I got through it.

On Monday, I heard nothing, then on Wednesday I got really homesick, so I asked them if I could go back to the house and see if things were any better, to try to make peace and stuff.
Two officers and a counselor took me back to the house, and right away I could tell Damon hadn’t even stopped drinking at all.
I spent two days at the house before I figured everything was royally effed, and so I went to the Valencia police station, and told them I wanted to contact the Canadian Embassy about going home.

They cleaned up a little nippa hut on the property and told me I could sleep in it while we got everything straightened out.

It was awesome watching how fast they cleaned and fixed the hut, it was a wreck before I got there, and a team of about six or seven guys zipped around and put a tarp on the roof and all that.
So I lived there for about a week and a half, then Damon sent me a stupid message on Facebook saying my Lush package had arrived….I paid a lot of money for it and so I went back to the house to get it.

Stupid fucking idea.
Damon was sitting in my pajama pants, all contrite and resolved and told me he had stopped drinking and he didn’t want to drink anymore and it was too inconvenient and blah blah blah blah blah, long story short, I decided to give him yet another goddamned chance, and he lasted a week.
As SOON as his mother left for her job, he picked up a bottle and started in on me yet again.

I’m now back living in the hut at the police station, trying to get the Canadian embassy to help me, and being very hungry and frustrated and tired and depressed and suicidal and pretty much the lowest I can currently be.

Donations would sincerely be appreciated at this point.

The Bloody End for now.

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Anything You Lose Comes Round in Another Form

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Lots of things have happened, and fear not, I have not abandoned this bloggity at all, the technology in the house all went kaput at pretty much the same time….
Donna went to Makati for surgery a few days before my birthday…..which was January 17th….then the tv died, and the internet started glitching up….

Damon drank again for four straight days and that was terrible, I got called all sorts of nasty things again, and at one point it was so bad I took my bag, packed it, and got a jeepney to Coco Amigos on the waterfront downtown.
I sat there for hours, had a calamansi juice, and smoked cigarettes…..I foolishly assumed he’d come try to find me after so many hours, but I was wrong. I was going to sleep outside and start doing what I needed to do to survive, but I got really tired and it was raining so I got the last Jeepney back to Valencia and walked back to the house.

What a terrible cycle it is….He drinks and treats me horribly…..I tell him I want to go home, and that he promised to send me back if things didn’t work out…then he stays sober for a few days so I feel like everything’s back on track, then he gets drunk again.

I’m tired of it, but I’m literally stuck here…I have no way to get myself home, I have about $100 in the bank, and I don’t know anyone who can help me out. I don’t want to ask Donna because she’s dealing with the chemo and stuff right now….but I’m going to have to.

My visa extension has also been expired since January 18th…..so technically I’m staying in the country illegally right now….but again, no money to do anything about it.
Maybe I could be deported. lol

Anyways, while Damon was on his little binge, I’d go up to the top of the path with a book and a beer and just sit and read all day….one day I was just crying and begging God for help, saying I needed to talk to someone, and that kinda stuff….and a few minutes later after I calmed down a bit, two missionaries, Sister Seaberg and Sister Fatiau sat down on the bench beside me and talked with me for quite a few hours.

They’re Mormons, and we’ve been hanging out ever since, they come to the house, we’ve cooked pasta for them, we went to church, and I’ll be going again this week, and while I don’t think I’ll join the church as a member, it’s just really nice to be socializing and to have someone to talk to again in the ‘real world’

Damon was invited to start a cooking class in the church, but last night while drunk he was going on about how he’s not going to go anymore and blah blah, so tough luck for him.

 

Not much other news, we’re going to be switching internet providers soon, because this one has terrible connection.

Write more soon….I haven’t died, don’t worry. haha

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Delay is Delayed

Sorry I haven’t written in a really long time….obviously, as you can read in the last post, I’ve been dealing with stuff here in the house. 

Still working on things, Donna’s been away to Cebu since Tuesday, the tenth…

Damon and I are working on things, drinking has not stopped, but I’ve been making double the effort to control my emotions, and so has he. 

I’m still worried about the future, and I still need to find a way to make money online, just in case it comes to that again.
Damon’s talking about us leaving for China so he can get a job.
A lot of talking has been going on and I will update longer in a few days.

I’m sorry for leaving you guys in the dark so much, but ‘real life’ comes in as first priority for me.

Blog soon.

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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‘Someday’ Is Not a Day of The Week

Wow, so finally I can update my bloggity for you lovely followers!!!

Google chrome, which I currently am using for my browser decided to arbitrarily update itself, with or without my opinion or choice in the matter. Because of that, my internet was slow as all-get-out for three days, and WordPress wouldn’t load.

Yaaaaay, technology!
Never matter, I’m back, though I can’t say there’s much news.
Damon and I took a ride into town the other day, just to pick up some stuff at Robinson’s Mall, but I really liked and appreciated getting out of the house.
It has been super-tense lately because Donna ((Damon’s Mother)) is pushing and pushing about jobs.
((Ironically, the Department of Immigration posted today on Facebook that companies that hire foreigners that don’t have proper paperwork can be fined up to ten-thousand pesos, and the foreigner in question will be deported.))
So point being, having a break from being hounded was blissful, and I really missed being on the back of the bike with him driving… He may be an insane driver, but I feel comfy and safe when I ride with him, and it reminds me of the first few days I was here.

I tried my hand at the Marinara again today… It was a bit more improved, but still nowhere near his. 

Oh! And my corset arrived, though still no word from my Lush package… The corset is beautiful in real life, and very well made… It fits me, but the way it fits reminds me I’m not a young spring chicken anymore, and should be toning up more often than I do… I’m finding my tummy is getting a bit ‘fluffy’… Ha

There was a big tropical storm in the last few days, it hit Manila pretty bad and there’s been widespread flooding, but it missed us completely except for a spot of rain and maybe three gusts of wind.

Anywhoo, that’s been all for now… I leave you with a short video of Splatter the cat out hunting at night!

The Kitty

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Keeping Regular – Good for the System

Well, I almost didn’t write a new post today…no news is usually good news, but I suppose being the author of a bloggity…no news is bad views?

So I suppose I shall talk today about driving on the Scoopy.

Way back in the day, when I was a little youngster, I thought it would be awesome to get my driver’s license… a personal milestone of life-changing grandeur, opening a whole new world of opportunities and greatness. I couldn’t wait to turn sixteen and buy a cheap rust-bucket to call my own.
As sixteen got closer and closer to becoming a reality, I realized that having a car was highly overrated, way too expensive, and much more work than I was willing to put in, and in the end, I never ended up getting my license.

When I moved out to the Philippines at first, the roads and traffic terrified me… the people here are insane on the road, and rivaled only by Montreal, in my mind.
My husby Damon told me I would get used to it, and that while it looks chaotic and dangerous, there actually is somewhat of a method for driving here. I thought he was just as insane as the rest, especially after telling me that when he’s alone on the bike, he drifts around corners and reaches speeds of over eighty without a helmet… Can you say potential street pizza???

Eventually though, after about four months of my being here, I got the driving itch. One day when there was nothing going on and I was ready to crawl out of my own skin at the boredom I was feeling, I decided to hop on the bike and go for a spin.

Previous to this, my only experience with the bike was being on the back with him, and one teensy instance of driving it from the Sari-sari to our house…a grand, majestic total of about a two-minute trip down the driveway.
I had never driven a car in my life, let alone a scooter, which is what we own.

So the day I drove alone, I went up the mountain… Deciding that since I hadn’t been up that way yet after months of asking Damon to take me, I’d just go right ahead and take my damn self.

I have to say, it was a lovely drive, the flowers, trees and various plant life here are all breathtaking, not to mention the scenic views of the city from the mountainside.
I could feel the local people all staring at me, and a few tried to get my attention, or said hello as I drove past… but being a foreigner here, it’s getting to be a normal thing for me to experience.

I almost drove myself off the road trying to avoid a baby chicken, and at one point I was stopped by a large herd of goats, but other than that, the ride up was smooth and beautiful.
I found what looks to be a park, that I want to investigate further, and I saw an old Lady sweeping grass clippings off the side of the road. I took the time to appreciate and admire her work, the way the freshly swept soil looked richer and darker for her doing so…

The way back home was a bit frustrating, I definitely got lost, and got a few smirks from people as I passed them more than three times trying to find my way…
I decided at one point to stop and ask for directions, and realized as soon as I did that I was on my own darn street.

I got home just before the tank ran dry, and decided I think I may very well fancy this driving stuff… I can’t wait to go out and adventure again…next time, I’ll remember to bring my camera.

SAM_0192

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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