Wowie, what a day it’s been.
Not to get super-graphic, but I suffer from dysmenorrhea, which is basically excessive, debilitating menstrual pain…
It can be caused by a few different things, but mine is due to suspected endometriosis.
Apparently there is no cure, and in my experience the only thing that has worked in the past to alleviate my suffering is medical cannabis.
Let me tell you, oh holy cows, is it ever painful.
I’m usually stuck in bed, writhing around, and sometimes throw up, pass out and have mild seizures because of it.
When I was living in Canada, it was the main reason I would be let go or fired from jobs… missing work for two to three days in a row every month is not something you can do without risking your employment, and my usual line of work was kitchen work… so it wasn’t something I or my employers could easily plan for or cover with other employees.
It left me feeling highly frustrated, extremely depressed, and after losing upwards of 20 jobs in a year this way, I became very disappointed in my lack of ability to ever provide a steady income for myself.
My Self-Esteem dropped to unbelievable levels, and was another reason I went on mental health disability while living in Canada.
When I moved here to the Philippines, I didn’t really think about employment, as I had saved a good portion of my disability funds in a savings account, and Damon also had some money from TESL jobs in the past.
We were able to provide for the household by buying the groceries, paying for upkeep of the animals, keeping gas in the scooters, and paying a portion of the rent and electric bills for about six months.
Unfortunately, our savings have pretty much run dry, and the courtesy and help we offered the household is not being reciprocated by Damon’s mother.
Not to become snarky or jaded, I must mention that she has a very regular job examining IELTS students twice a month, gets to stay in very expensive ‘all-expenses-paid’ hotels in Cebu and Manila, and has an average monthly income of around $10k… which is over P415K.
So needless to say, my patience has been really wearing thin with the fact that she is nagging us about getting jobs, not to mention she causes havoc in the household if we ask her to pick up the groceries for the month, or even chip in P2o ((about fifty cents)) for cooking supper.
Previous to my being here, they lived in China, where Damon worked as a teacher. He was not only working a full-time job, but also paying for everything, buying the food, cooking it, and running the errands, EVEN THOUGH he was living in a separate apartment than his mother…poor guy never caught a break, he’s told me story of how his apartment was little more than a concrete box, while his mom’s was pretty modern.
Now that he lives here, he still does all the cooking and errands, and is treated like a five year old misfit… regularly cursed at, put down and nagged for the smallest, most illogical things.
I try to keep his spirits up, and tell him regularly that we should just go live in a cave on Siquijor, but he still insists on ‘Doing Right’ by his mom.
I’ve been told at a young age that if you want to judge a man’s character, look at how he treats his own mother, and I have to tell you, in all my years of experience, it has been a solid piece of advice… it really is true.
The fact that Damon still wants to try to make the last years of her wretched life palatable, healthy, and happy after the horrendous treatment he has received since childhood via her is a genuine testament to how unspeakably kind, resilient, respectable and honorable that man truly is.
I am definitely not made of the same material as he, I cannot even fathom putting up with even one quarter of it.
Anyway, my point in all of this being that blogging has allowed me the freedom I need in a job, but it doesn’t pay the bills yet… Cooking is something I would definitely enjoy, but I can’t get my papers for work here… And still no calls or Emails back for TESL jobs.
I’ve signed up to ODesk… it doesn’t look very promising to me, but we shall see where it leads. I never really trust online work to be more than a scam.
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Writing this blog has become a highlight of my day, so if you derive even a modicum of pleasure from reading, please help me keep my dream going and consider even a donation of a dollar.
Oh, and for those wondering about the watercolor I made for Damon, here is a picture of it!
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