Tag Archives: California

Being Alone Felt Good… But Never Felt Right

Aaah, love.
I’m still struggling with my emotions, and they suck.
Alcohol is an evil, wasteful thing….and it took away the greatest love of my life.

I keep on telling myself, keep moving forward, keep on going, press on, make yourself a life and don’t lay down to die.
It’s hard.

My interview today went well, I have to wait for the final interview, which will hopefully be tomorrow.
I also got a call back from the Korean school for English, and they want me to meet with them to talk about salary and starting dates…which is excellent….but now I have to think about a few different things.

Number one, Salary…which job pays more.
As a foreigner, I have to renew my visa every few months, which is about 4k pesos a pop….then, I need to think about rent costs, and food….I can feed myself for a month on 2k pesos.
Then I have to think about transportation….which would be less of an issue if I took a boarding room in the downtown core….I don’t mind walking.
Also, every three years, I have to leave the country and come back, so I need a job that will allow me to save up enough to buy a plane ticket somewhere.

Number two concern is Job Security.
I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I will need a job that will be around for a long time, and won’t just hire me for a season, or will run the risk of letting me go when it gets slow.

I really don’t care about socializing or going out or doing things around town….I know I won’t be able to afford it for a really long time… I do want to buy a laptop or build a desktop computer, so that I can maybe start an online business of some sort, continue to keep this blogitty updated, and also to keep up with my photography.

Yesterday, I went out with Ma’am Joanne, another woman I know here, to a place that makes cheese and stuff from goats….It was pretty awesome, I got to see a bit of cheese making, the removal of the whey and putting it into molds.
The owner is German, and he had a unique cheese press that he had a friend weld together for him that was very efficient and very interesting.

I took his business card, and so next time I write an update, I will include directions and the name of the place, which I can’t remember currently.

I also forgot to mention the other day Ma’am Cecilia and I met up with a local photographer named Hersley Casero, and he told me all about his work right now…I guess a few years ago, someone stole a photograph of his and claimed it was their own, and the laughing boy in the picture, he told the media, had cancer….which was, and is not true.

A friend of his in California recognized on the news that it was Hersley’s work, and told him about what was going on….the picture had been going viral, and from that point, they decided to create the ‘Ha?’ project.

It’s a collaboration of artists all over the world, and you can find more information right here in the link to their Facebook page.

I guess that’s all I currently have to say….besides the fact that right now I’m eating a very tasty dish of rice noodles, chunks of really sour green thingies called ‘Iba’, green onion, shrimp, some kind of tasty, yellow sauce…’palabok’ sauce, calamansi, egg, and pork rinds.
It is bloody delicious and I wish I could share it with you all….but only a little bit, because its almost too good to share.

So much for Filipino food being ‘gross’ or ‘bland’ or ‘too salty’…….Goes to show what happens when you’re not afraid of a little social exploration….

The last few weeks have been so good for my mind and soul…getting out and about, meeting new people, being friendly and open to meeting the community will get you very far in the Philippines, and I am living proof….I’ve had it both ways.

Social isolation, sticking to your house and doing nothing but grocery shopping and drinking starts to make you a very cynical, cranky, frustrated hermit-creature here….you end up meeting the lazy, creepy, night-time folk.

Also, there’s a large difference between socializing with gross, opportunistic, exploitative foreigners……and getting to meet the well-to-do, outgoing, helpful, adventurous people.

Anyway, Until next time!

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Posted by on March 24, 2014 in Uncategorized


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The Welcoming Hand of The Interested Stranger

Sorry, no pictures on this bloggity update unfortunately…nothing to give a relief for your eyeballs at all.

A lot has been happening, been seeing a lot of new things, and so life goes on, I guess.

Stuff went bad again….I dont know where I left off, but I went back to the house for a week, Damon remained sober and full of energy and piss and vinegar for one full week….then the very morning his mother left for her job he was back to drunk and I said fuck it for the last time.

The embassy has come through, just yesterday they told me the loan fiiinnnaaalllyyy got approved,  but in the last few weeks, I’ve met two people who know quite a few people around town, and they’ve been spreading the word of maybe me getting a job…..needless to say, the embassy option will have to wait at this point, because I would rather be poor, full of good food, and happy, paying taxes to the Philippine government than poor and depressed and suicidal, inhaling black mold spores and eating out of garbage cans in Canada, repaying a criminal government that I hate.

I’ve gone down to Zamboangita, excuse me if the spelling is wrong, met a German man who owns the White Chocolate Hills beach resort, as well as two other resort owners that have been very kind, and seemed decently interested in possibly having a native speaker of English to help out around their properties.
They said they would be in touch.
Then, I went and met with a Korean man who runs an English school that I may be able to assist at, and on Monday I will be meeting with someone from one of the call centers around town to see if they’d be interested in hiring me.

The Lady I met and who’s taken me to meet people knows the woman who basically brought all the call centers into Dumaguete, so undoubtedly, she will know of someone to be interested if there is a prospect.

So I’ve been rushing my little bottom off to and fro, socializing and meeting with people, as well as keeping the word out that I want a job and I want to stay for good.

I keep thinking about how much Damon would hate me and embarass me and look down upon me now…… every time I meet someone I can hear him in my head saying ‘Oh, this person is stupid, moronic, loser, they don’t know anything, god how boring, blah blah….I’ve been trying to not let it get me down….logically, I know his view of other people ((as well as this whole country)) is depressing and off-base from reality…which is so ironic, when he tells me he loves the Philippines, but then says all Philippine food is disgusting, over salted and full of MSG…….When I know from direct experience, eating with the cops, eating with Ma’am Hoffmann, etc that rice and vegetables, or pechay and malunngay soup and jackfruit and ya know…..all the other foods I’ve tasted aren’t bloody disgusting or salty in the darn least…..I can’t say much about the salted fish…of course they’re salty…but SO DELICIOIUUUUSUSUS…I was scared to try them for the longest time, but the other day, I gave in and OHMYGOD… crunchy….so saaallltttyyyyy….so goooooooood….
And I’m addicted to the BBQ pork chunks down the street from the copstation…..I cannot get enough of them.

Anyway just a small update, can’t stay online for too long as it isn’t my computer, as usual……I will try to write again soon.
Damon also tried to make me feel bad for writing this blog…told me it’s practically a form of mental masturbation and that I am not allowed to air my personal life on the internet…….but honestly, excuse my language, Fuck That, I don’t censor myself, I can write about what I want, and if he didn’t want people to know the bad stuff, he shouldn’t have been, frankly, an asshole.

I will continue to write, because this blog actually has a purpose, once I have a solid place to write updates, and once I get more and more immersed in the Philippine culture and lifestyle, I want a space to be able to share my experiences, hopes, dreams, and reality of life as a foreigner in the Philippines.

I hope you will all continue to join me.

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Posted by on March 22, 2014 in Uncategorized


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