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SORRY!!!

Sorry for the delay, I have been really busy doing the hustlegame.

I quit the resort job. It was getting to be waaay too much drama and way too much tension and my mental health took a dip in the deep end again…I ended up dissociating badly one day and I cut myself again.
Not proud of it.

So I left, and I live in Bais with Doming.
It’s a really nice, small neighborhood, about 10 minutes from the town centre.
I have an online freelancing job as a social media manager, building websites, doing graphic design and flyers/brochures/promo materials/logos, etc for businesses and also doing a bit of photography, even though I don’t have good equipment anymore.

Its a lot less money…about five bucks a day, but it’s enough for now.
I’m worried about my visa renewal, but…..that’s not something I have control over.

I rescued a stray cat named Scallywag, and she’s doing really good. A bit on the bitey side however.
I also tried to rescue a two week old kitten named Scooter….his mother had a litter in my yard and moved every one except him. I tried to feed him milk powder formula, but one day he went from perfectly fine to skeleton and he died in my hands.
I gave him a viking funeral so the ants wouldn’t eat him.
It was really traumatic, but I did my best.

About a month ago I went up the mountain to visit my friends, two of the construction worker guys at the resort live up there….and I got these wicked awesome photos!
Enjoy!

I will try my hardest to update more often!!!

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Posted by on March 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Those Who Deny Reason Cannot Be Conquered By It

Well, here we go, almost time to go ‘On The Road Again…’ as the song goes!

Unfortunately, many of the workers here are moving on, since they are being treated in ways that they think is unfair.
I know, two sides (sometimes five!) to every story, but for the majority of the speaking, it is a negative picture being painted.
Without revealing too much, the owners are showing obvious, blatant, and regular signs of worker abuse, and after years of putting up with it, most of the workers are finished just laying down and taking it.

Thusly, I will not stick around for much longer.
I appreciate the opportunity to learn so much in such a short amount of time, and I appreciate what little has been given to me.
But I did not come to the Philippines to be criticized, ridiculed, and made to feel useless and incompetent.
I’m pretty sure I said the exact same things when I was leaving my ex, did I not? lol

Happily, I have been saving money for the Bistro….so I have a little bit of money to draw upon if need be for visas, until I can find suitable freelance work, or until I can get the food place up and running……I won’t give up on that idea, it’s been a dream of mine for many years to start my own Food Spot, and with over 11 years experience working in Kitchens, I know I can do it.

I think, in the last ten minutes, I have also scored a freelancing gig putting together and maintaining a website for a new ‘Zine here in the Philippines…….
Wut Wuuuut.
But in order to work it, I will need a bloody internet frigging connection if I leave to go live in Bais.
I will either have to work at an internet cafe or stay here for a bit longer….which even the idea of sickens me……
The last few weeks have been rough and I’ve been thinking of going back to self harm as a goddamn coping mechanism.
EWWWWW, gross Idea, Jessica!

Anywhoo, just wanted to update y’all 12 people who read this 😉
By the way, thanks for continuing to read this.

Also by the way….anyone else notice prices went up a bit on stuff at your local sari-saris?
Beer went up five pesos, and pancit noodles went up three pesos!
BOOOOO!!!!

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A Good PR Story is Infinitely More Effective Than a Front Page Ad

Slowly but surely saving up bit by bit for the bistro…..I really don’t have much right now but like I said previous…it’s better than nuthin!

Also, I forgot to say that the other picture I included of the bamboo thing with a face is our piggy bank lol

Doming accidentally called it our ‘pork bank’ because he couldn’t remember ‘piggy bank’ so now we joke all the time that it’s our pork barrel fund.

Yesterday was fiesta for macaboo…er…makabu or however it’s spelled…..so we went to a million people’s houses and ate a trillion lechons and meatballs and ribs and drank five zillion gallons of coke and sprite….I was dying by the end of the day lol
Unfortunately no pictures, booo….god damn the ex for stealing my camera.
Literally EVERYONE was staring at me everywhere I went, it was sooo awkward, and as an anxiety-ridden basketcase, it makes socializing here sooo hard, because obviously, there ain’t no hiding my pasty pale white skin….and everyone always looks and wants to talk and so I’m learning my best to not have panic attacks and stuff when strangers talk to me and stare….

aaanywhoozy, I figured I would post here because there’s quite a few of you that read my bloggity….if you could, can you please vote for me to win a full PR campaign for the bistro?
And also maybe share with your friends?

A lot of people have been having issues finding where to vote, so here’s a picture:

lala
Andhere is the links for everything you need to know about the bistro!

Vote Here for the PR Campaign Contest
Here is the Facebook Page
Here is my Indiegogo Campaign for Donating

YAY! Thanks to everyone who reads my blog, I really appreciate the eyes and I hope someday it’s much more exciting of a read 😉

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Mankind Was My Business!

I’m just going to leave this right here!

Indiegogo for the Bistro

Been saving as much as I can each week, and so far for the business, I have 3,800 Php saved!
That’s really not a whole lot, but it’s way better than nothing!
We also checked into the paperwork….LOTS of papers to get and clearances to get and permits and blah blah…..then my working visa, then finding a place to rent…..(We’ve got our eyes on four different spots already though…..)

I took a few shots of the barbecue down the street that we go to for supper….there’s an adorable white dog that always sits patiently for me to share with him:

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If he was cleaned up, he’d be a GREAT dog….he’s smart as a whip.
Speaking of adorable dogs……there was a baby pup we found in behind one of the houses here at the resort.
Like a stupid frigging moron, I hung out with it all day, gave it food, and it stuck to me like velcro, nuzzled into my neck and fell asleep for the whole day on my chest….I gave it a bath and everything…..

But then the boss got back and even after saying I’d be responsible entirely for its care, nope, get rid of it.
Unfortunately, it’s because there’s already two dogs here, and they have been TERRIBLY trained….they still jump and nip at people and don’t listen to anything at all.

I know how to train a dog properly, especially a pup…so that would have been no issue.
But I ain’t the boss.

So I had to send the dog away, it broke my goddamn heart and I’m still upset about it, but what can I do?

I just have to wait to get my own place…then I can rescue a poor puppo and work on spaying and neutering other strays.

Not much new going on….I never really get out anywhere lol
Oh well!
Check out my indie gogo campaign and maybe think of helping out?

 
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Posted by on October 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Fads Are Orderly… Food Carts and Fires Are Not

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About a week ago, Damon bought me some acrylic paints, a silk screener & squeegee, and a barbecue recipes book.

When I first got here, back in May, I tried to make an outdoor underground stone oven/fire pit thingy, and failed miserably at the endeavor… I had forgotten to put in a ventilation hole, it wasn’t deep enough, and overall, the design was totally wrong.

When I got the barbecue book, my desire to build an outdoor fire-pit was renewed, and yesterday I spent the day hauling rocks from a little ways up the lane to our back yard.
Once Ray caught on to what I was doing, he helped out, and took a few trips on his scooter to collect the bigger rocks I couldn’t carry.

I tried last night to start a fire in it, just to see how it would work, but I’m terrible at fires, and it fizzled out within seconds.
This morning, I collected some more dried out leaves and stuff, and I’m going to try again this afternoon to light it…I really want to cook chicken wings in it, but I guess I’m going to have to wait until it’s totally finished.
I plan on digging a hole in the middle, making it a bit deeper the easy way, and packing the holes in the rocks with mud.

All in all, I’m proud, and I like being productive and building things.
I like fitting rocks together, they’re like a big piece-less puzzle.

Donna’s leaving again soon, probably around the 23rd, for four days, which is absolutely a good thing.
Damon’s drinking a lot again, and I’m really getting weary of trying to keep our spirits up.
If any of you lovely readers have dealt with a depressed spouse, or an alcoholic partner, you know how hard it can be.

I try to be quiet and out of the way and supportive and cheery, but when you’ve got a mother-in-law that treats you like a five year old, and a husband so upset at things in his past that he yells about it, it’s hard to be that perpetually cheerful happy-girl on a twenty four – seven basis.
I’m told to ‘make the house mine’ and participate in the household, and decorate and give input, but then when I do, or I make a change to something and tell everyone, it gets moved, ignored, or ridiculed.

Sorry to rant, it’s also very hard when you have no one to talk to about these things…

I wish we could get our own place, because his mother is literally killing him, and it hurts to see him so upset.

But what can I do?
I’ll just keep on doing my own thing, and hope he eventually comes around.

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Posted by on October 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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