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She Wanted To Talk Like She Was Born Here – Like She Never Came From Anywhere Else

22 Apr

Well oh wello!

So much on my mind, dunno where to begin.
It’s kinda terrible that I update the resort’s blog every day but then don’t update my own personal one much….I guess it’s a bit more easy to bang out professionally-written blogs for a targeted audience than to solemnly spill my guts to strangers….ironically…

I’ve been really having fun here…it’s been an amazing fit, and I’m still amazed I actually get paid to do SEO and social media marketing for a freakin’ beach resort.

Obviously it’s more than that, I do the office work, file papers, do the payroll, make sure things are running smoothly and properly….but a very large chunk of my work is internet-based….and anyone who knows me knows I’m bloody amazing at internet marketing.

Anywhoo…another awesome part is my coworkers, I love everyone like family…I get teased a lot for being white and ‘oh so beautiful’ and skinny and this and that but I don’t mind.

Most of the workers also live on-site, except for on holidays and stuff because a lot of them live far away.
We all eat dinner together in the worker’s kitchen and its usually Dried Fish, Tocino, Malunggay soup or Tinola, Rice, and water…we sit and chat about the day or whatever, though I don’t really understand much at all since it’s mostly in Cebuano, but every once in a while someone will translate for me….usually JaiJai, my new ‘sister’….but sometimes Ramel, our bartender dude….who can make a margarita that even Jesus himself would kill someone for.

The ‘Chef of the workers’ is named Doming and hot damn that guy can cook a mean soup! haha

In the mornings I usually get an omelet or chicken fingers and a salad, and Rod, our Resort chef usually cooks it and oh my freaking god the omelets are delicious.
So safe to say, the eatin’s good here.

Sometimes we all go out to the market area to eat instead, and we get rice, barbecue, tocino, lumpia and stuff…I finally tried longganisa, which is a kind of chorizo sausage thats SO SUPER TASTY!!!
Damon told me it was gross, so I was always nervous about it, but pffsshht, its super good.

The pink hot dogs too, they taste just like regular old hot dogs as far as I can tell…though when I first got here I remember trying one that was sweet and icky…..but the ones at the market are pretty typical tasting…maybe my tastebuds just forget what western food tastes like at this point.

I still for the life of me can’t figure out why some of these meats are pink though….I must solve this mystery sometime.
So far I’ve tried Pandesal, which I love…Adobo, which is obviously amazing, BBQ, which I’m addicted to, Bam-E, pictured below, Banana Heart made into some kinda slaw stuff which was interesting but strange, Tinola with pechay, onion, sayote, chilies, okra, etc….monggo soup which surprised me because monggos are beans…first bean I actually like….salads with daikon radish, ampalaya which was both icky and delicious….it’s very bitter, but the coating stuff on it is awesome…..Puso, which is just plain ‘ol rice, Siomai which is oh-so-frigging-good, but is technically a Chinese food….

Aaaaaand I actually kinda tried Balut…..I cracked open the egg, sipped the juice, ate a few wet feathers…..and everything was fine until I cracked open the entire egg and saw the baby chicken…….I tried some of the yolk, which tasted pretty much just like a boiled egg….but I couldn’t steel my nerves enough to bite into the baby.

I like going to market for supper….everyone picks what they want from the food stall/table, sits down at a table off to the side, cleans their fingers with a bucket of water, then plates of rice are brought to the table on pink plates wrapped in plastic bags…I assume for easier clean-up…pretty damn smart if you ask me….then the little bowls of calamansi and chilies and soy sauce show up…..then you wait for the delicious, juicy meeeaaatzzz….

We all sit and talk and goof off, joke around and it’s really laid back and fun.
The best part about filipino food in my humble little opinion is eating with your fingers!!!
Everyone eats with the fingers, and it’s not considered rude or gross….weirdly enough though, what is considered icky is licking your fingers afterwards….I keep trying to catch myself and stop doing it, but its hard….the food is so good I want every little taste.

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Bam-E….so freaking tasty.

After supper, literally every freakin’ night everyone drinks either Red Horse, Tequila or the evil, disgusting Tanduay.
I never drink the Tanduay…the smell still makes me absolutely want to throw up due to my experiences in Valencia….
But sometimes I have a few glasses of beer or tequila.

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Lately though, I’ve had a constant sore throat and I think I’m running a bit of a fever, so I haven’t been drinking or smoking so I can rebuild my system.

It could be caused by a few things…The treehouse I’m living in has birds in the roof and cats in the floorboards….so all the dust and …gross poo & fur residues….may be irritating my immune system….but I’m not allergic to anything, so I don’t know why it would bother me to the point of sickness….

It could also be the fact that I’m working 11-12 hours a day and in three weeks have had zero days off….even though it’s simple office work and tours and stuff….it’s still work, and my brain never shuts off or has time to fully rest.
I don’t think that’s the issue though, because I function at my peak when I’m overbusy and frantically panicky…hahah

It could also just be the change in the environment and the weather….it’s been hotter, and this area is right beside the ocean, while Valencia was up in the mountains.

Whatever I guess.

I still miss having Damon in my life…he’s an amazingly creative, interesting, smart person at his best, but honestly….life is better when I’m not being called a bunch of terrible names and being made to feel worthless and unbearably stressed out every day….Just after I got here, I was talking to him and he told me he had a heart attack and he was going to kill himself and stuff….that made the stress and the panic and the sense of irrational responsibility and guilt come pounding back into my chest and I felt sick because I know I can’t trust what he says…who knows if it’s the truth?

Here I feel productive, happy and confident in my worth….I feel part of a whole here…it’s not exactly the best-greased machine on the block, but the resort is only three months old…you can’t expect everything to be going perfectly so early on in the game….we’re all learning together, and that’s a really awesome feeling.

And even if he was killing himself, what the fuck am I going to do about it from all the way over here?? ((Excuse mon francais))
He expects me to drop everything and run to him with no money & no transportation with no guarantees that things are ok or sane or honest….exactly what got me to the Philippines in the fucking first place…..

A Pure, Reckless Loving & Careless, Devoted Trust in something that turned out to be a well-financed stage play for a fool.
Ugh, When I think about it, I hate myself and I hate the fact that I was lied to.

But It got me here, and now I’m ok…..I’m always ok, really….
I’m a fighter, a True Warrior…a Wallace, a survivor….and I can spin gold from pig shit.
Well.
Until Next Time.

Come visit the Resort’s Bloggity!
I have like…no followers on it, even though quite a few read it…I would really appreciate some follows over there!!

www.whitechocolatehillsresort.wordpress.com

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Oh, P.S….I also have been researching tattoo culture in the Philippines, and found out that they used to tattoo warriors with Orange or Calamansi thorns.

So what did I do?

Found a thorn and gave myself a new tattoo, of course!

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40 is the numerical representation of Enki/Ea, and also is representative of Capricorn.
In numerology, four is ruled by Saturn, which is my ruling planet, and of course, zero is one of the most powerful connections to the Otherside.

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6 Comments

Posted by on April 22, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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6 responses to “She Wanted To Talk Like She Was Born Here – Like She Never Came From Anywhere Else

  1. Bob Jones

    May 3, 2014 at 6:24 am

    Awesomer!

     
  2. Charles Braun

    September 25, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Hahaha! Being brutally honest makes this a funny read. Also tanduay is disgusting but I always drink it with water. There’s also almost no casual drinking culture in the Philippines so we always drink to get sloshed, that’s why we prefer Red Horse. But Red Horse is almost out of fashion because of rising prices, so a lot of people drink Emperador Light (brandy) instead to save money.

     
    • Jessica Conrad

      September 26, 2014 at 2:05 am

      Yeah everyone always assumes I’m rich when I drink redhorse, and they all look surprised when I buy a whole bottle just for myself……I try to explain that Canadians can drink pretty much anyone under the table. lol

      Also…..tanduay is EEEEVIL STUFF! I question wether or not it’s actually alcohol at all, or if its paint thinner…..

      Protip: Orange or Iced Tea Tang totally masks the flavor.

       
      • Charles Braun

        September 26, 2014 at 1:10 pm

        Man up and chase it with water! haha I think mixing sweet juices/soda with liquor is for pussies so I never do that. Have you ever heard of Cerveza Negra? It’s a dark, smokey, malty, beer that is closest to a stout that we’ll ever gonna have. It might be a bit more expensive (45-49 pesos) a bottle, but it’s my favorite beer in the Philippines. You might be called a girl (even if you are one) if you’re seen drinking Cerveza Negra because there’s a local tradition here about women drinking the stuff after menstruation.

         
      • Jessica Conrad

        October 7, 2014 at 3:23 am

        Yeah I’m learning to suck it up haha I just plug my nose.
        I have heard of the negra, but haven’t tried it yet…..they sell it here at the resort for 90 pesos

         

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